“Comparison is the thief of joy.” We see and hear this quote all the time. I know I often find myself comparing my relationship and marriage to things I see elsewhere. And then I get annoyed. And dissatisfied. And unhappy with what I have. Which is obviously never how we want to feel about our relationships or marriage. But my constant reminder to myself is this: what we have works for us. It doesn’t have to look like what works for everyone else, as long as it works for us.
We’ve been married 11 years and no it’s not all rainbows and butterflies and crazy sparks every day. He (usually) doesn’t make grand romantic gestures. We don’t go on a ton of date nights. We spend a lot of time just hanging out, doing our own thing, in the same room. But it works for us.
He does the dishes while I try to get our toddler in bed. We still have the longest conversations about the silliest things (like, what is the plural of thermos?) He makes me laugh on the regular. He knows when I’m being totally irrational I probably just need to eat or sleep. We know when to give each other space. For the most part, we know what the other person needs without it being said.
It’s not crazy spontaneous, it’s comfortable. But it works for us. And that’s all that matters. So next time you find yourself comparing your relationship to the Bachelorette or a crazy romantic gesture you saw online, ask yourself does what I have work for me? If the answer is yes, remind yourself of all the things that do work and that you are grateful for and remember that’s all that matters.
What’s something you and your significant other do that works for you? And does anyone know the plural of thermos?!?
I want thank and give a shoutout to a friend of ours for inspiring this post. He does landscaping in Winnipeg and is passionate about being an entreprenuer while maintaining a healthy relationship.